Oz, The Great and Powerful

This week was spring break for me, so on Tuesday my best friend, Jackie, and I decided to hit up the cinema to indulge in a movie both of us had been craving to see: Oz, The Great and Powerful. I was a massive Wizard of Oz fan when I was little, so this movie seemed like the next obvious step considering I've already seen Wicked as well. The only way I can think to describe this movie is beautiful and truly magical. It is the prequel to Wizard of Oz, in a sense. It tells the story of a circus magician named Oscar Diggs. While trying to outrun the man whose girlfriend he sweet-talked, Oscar (Oz for short) jumps into a hot air balloon to get away. He then gets swept up into the oncoming toronado and begs for s second chance to become a "good man." He gets his wish when he arrives in Oz to meet Theodora the Good (witch). She brings him to Emerlad City where it is made apparent to him that he will be the next Wizard. The story then goes that he meets many of the familiar Oz characters so as to become the "Great and Powerful Oz."

This movie has many spoilers, which is why I am being so vague. Moving on, I felt the movie was good. The storyline was clever and left me wondering why no one has done this before. The cast was mostly good too, with the exception of a couple. This is quite a heavy thing to say, I admit, but James Franco was not Oz. What I mean is that he was uncommitted to this iconic part, and it was definitely noticeable. Yes, there could have been a better Oz, maybe even his little brother Dave Franco could have been better. Another part that was better than Oz, but still kind of acting 101-ish was Mila Kunis as Theodora the Good. I love Mila Kunis, whole-heartedly, but Oz was not meant for her. She seemed like she was trying to appeal to children in a sense. Not even that, though, I just do not think Mila is a character actress, which is what this part required her to be.

After that, the movie itself was breathtaking. Cinema has come a long way since the original Oz. Also, this is not a kid movie, so please do not make that mistake, as there were a couple scenes that made me jump. Don't take my word for it though. See it for yourself and tell me what you think.

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Let the Good Times Roll, Part Three

On our last full day there, we ate a lot and went to the National WWII Museum.

Our first stop was the New Orleans School of Cooking, where we were taught to make gumbo, crawfish etouffee, and pralines by this hilarious and tremendously passionate chef and instructor at the school, Kevin.

 

 

The gumbo was easily the best I've ever eaten. I even went up for seconds. No shame. Then we were treated to a lovely crawfish etouffee that i had with this sauce called Garlic Power or something like that, but was basically a garlicky, spicy sauce. It was seriously delicious. Lastly, we had homemade pecan pralines which is like a brittle, but softer and so creamy. This was one of the best parts of the trip, honestly.

 

 

 

 

A little while later, we were back on free time. So, naturally, we decided to go get something to eat. The three other girls I spent most of my time with in New Orleans and I all had getting a po'boy on our agenda. That was what we did. We went to the French Market, right on the edge of the Quarter, and got sauteed shrimp po'boys from this booth called Nawlins. The sandwich was divine and the shrimp was so fresh. It came with a spicy potato salad that is something I've never even heard of, but it was also amazing and nice and spicy. I wanted to try something with alligator in it, but I couldn't find anyone who wanted to share the gator po'boy with me, which is why I ended up with the classic shrimp.

 

 

 

 

 

One of the last major things we did on our trip that I have pictures for, was the National WWII Museum. It was nice. I mean I'm not particularly into wars, so this was a bit of a stretch for me, but it was good for what it was. We saw a 4-D movie there regarding WWII and I thought that was really quite cool. (For those who don't know what 4-D is, like myself a couple weeks ago, it basically means your seat moves and you might get sprayed with water or foam might drop from the ceiling, etc.) One of the exhibits showing there was the Super Bowl exhibition. It makes sense, they literally just had the Super Bowl before I was there. Anyway, we got to see the Lombardi Trophy, so there it is. We had gone to a pre-Mardi Gras parade that night. The next day we boarded the bus for a 16 hour drive back home. I really did have a good time in New Orleans. It's rare that I find myself in a city where everything tastes good. I kid you not.

 





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Let the Good Times Roll, Part 2

The next day we were off to the races, experiencing much of the French Quarter. 

 

 

 

 

One of the first stops was the Saint Louis Cemetery Number One. This is a bit off topic, but I was genuinely surprised by how many things are named after St. Louis (For instance St. Louis St., St. Louis Cathedral). Being that I'm from St. Louis, I found it quite flattering. The picture in the upper left is that of voodoo priestess Marie Laveau. She was a voodoo priestess in the 1800s whose magical powers were revered. People come to her grave to mark three "X"s on her tomb in the hopes that she will grant them a wish. There are also many offers laid before her tomb including make-up, candles, and flowers, among other things. On the upper right is Nicholas Cage's grave, even though he still has yet to actually need a tomb.

 

 

 

With the spirits of New Orleans disturbed by some Catholic high school girls, we made our way to Jackson Square. We recieved a tour of possibly the most beautiful structure ever built in the United States: The St. Louis Cathedral. Tell me that's not absolutely stunning!

 

 



 

 After our tour, we were allowed some free time to explore and what not. We went to the park outside of the Cathedral where we ran into our good buddy Andrew Jackson. There is so much beautiful ironwork incuding one that belonged to the first woman to own land in the U.S., Micaela Almonaster Pontalba. Her father helped construct the Cathedral. Her intials (AP) are hidden in the ironwork. If you look closely you can see it. We then made our way through varying tourist shops around the French Quarter.

We did some major shopping before heading back to Jackson Square to meet up with the rest of our group. While we were waiting, I chose to get my cards read. It was a neat experience, even if you don't believe in this stuff. I mean, they rarely tell you something bad. For example, I was told I am reliable and insightful, that I am currently in a stage where I am making friendships and changes that will last, I will achieve my dreams, but that those dreams will mature with me, I will be financially stable, and I have the chance for a romantic relationship in the near future. I'm not sure how much I believe in this stuff, but its still a lot of fun if you get the chance.




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Let the Good Times Roll, Part 1

 

Back in February, I went on a class trip to New Orleans. It was sandwiched in between Super Bowl and Mardi Gras. We did many great things, almost all of which involved eating, which is one of my favorite pastimes. Anyway, here are some of the highlights of my trip:

The first place we visited was the Tabasco Factory in Avery Island, Louisiana. I would share some pictures, but I have a surprising lack of those in my repertoire. So long story short: we saw how they make Tabasco hot sauce and then sampled Tabasco Coca-Cola, Raspberry Chipotle chocolate ice cream (which was to die for, I might add) and jalapeno vanilla ice cream (which tasted like jalapeno potato chips and was fairly strong). Anyway, once we actually arrived in New Orleans we went to Mardi Gras World where the floats are made for the Mardi Gras parades and various other parades around America.



 We got to see a bunch of the different pieces being worked on. Lte me tell you, there are spectacular! The elephant was one being worked on for MGM. Yes, the movie production company. The gorilla is a regular to Mard Gras parades and is redressed every year for the parades in New Orleans. There were many other random pieces to be used in different parades.

They also showed us where they paint and paper mache all of the pieces being created. I came to find  there were many familiar faces around the place including the likes of Abraham Lincoln, Belle and the Beast, and the Tin Man.

In this parade palace, we also met a Frenchmen, whose name alludes my memory, who creates these works of art from beads. I'm sure you can imagine that New Orleans has many beads, and he finds a way to recycle the hoards of beads within the city.

After all the excitement of parade floats and beads, we were off to dinner at Mulates. We indulged in gumbo and bread pudding, along with some dancing from the jazz band that arrived a little later in the night.



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Jollibee Don't Kill Us

1. Hi Jollibee. You know nobody can resist your new humongous burger steak meal with fries, right? You do know that's a sign you want us to be fat, fat, fat right? Your extra large fries wasn't enough to make us poor right? Don't be evil you guys. Please don't kill us. Please don't tempt us with this marketing drivel. Please stop making stuff you know we can't refuse.

Why can't you use your infinity years of experience to market Tofu, Veggies and Mongos the way Pungko-Pungko in Colon does with raw onions and vinegar? Raw onions and vinegar increase your immunity against illnesses. And no the cholera and Hepa BS isn't accurately true. You think you can't also get cholera and Hepa from Jollibee if a disgruntled employee intentionally dirts up the spoons with shit? Like, literal shit? All is equal in this commercial world.

2. Lower the P100 price please.

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6 Thank Yous For The Bitches Who Should Rule Cebu City and Bark More

1. Thank you and my sincerest and even most embarrassing apologies to my close friend Shila. Like I said it was a thoughtless move that I kind of am still bothered by and I terribly feel scared for. Please help me remind myself not to play any type of moving toys when I'm with you, especially if it involves palabad, gillette blade ug beyblade nga tingga ang tumoy. 

And here's your brilliant essay on Why Bitches Should Bark More. It is modern but simple yet full of kind fun wit:

B-I-T-C-H : Babe In Total Control of Herself

Everyone thinks that this is not

a wholesome word.

Everyone tries

to avoid saying this word.
Everyone makes sure that they are not called as BITCH!

But NOT for us.. we call ourselves..BITCHes!
B-Babe
I - In
T- Total
C - Control of
H - Him/Herself

We are formed by fun activities, adventures and great stories. We tell stories of almost everything under the sun. We play around, eat anywhere and drink to death like no one cares.

Who says no one cares? We do. We are loved by many, envied by few and hated by millions. But we have each other.. it's more than enough to be thankful for.

I personally would confirm that I am a BITCH. It's fun to be one. I don't live in a boring world full of illusions.

BITCHes are true to each other. We say the bad truth to each other. We say what we think but we love what we have and these are friends that are BITCHes within.

You may judge us the same way as you judge how dirty the word is. But don't you dare try to invade our lives..BITCHes will surely rock your world and you will soon love being a BITCH.

Dont let anyone control you. Be a ruler of your own to become one of US!

-Shila, a 3 yr. old person

2. Thank you Katkat. You are an evolved sly generous person and a water-giver sa Krispy Kreme and you always reply to my texts and you have the kindest words such as, "Baaaaaad!", so you are ominous. I'm kidding, pero dili kana nga part. Kana ba. Kana gud.

3. Our own Bisaya Short Films Trivia last night in One Pavillion and Joan's House and Mcdo Punta where Gela won P20 and I was The Master (Yeah, I am Joaquin Phoenix) and Katkat, Portia and Gela won The Cornetto should be a required activity for everybody, just like P.E. Martin Castillanes

4. Thank you Mary Ann sister of Joan and also Joan for the Seaweed chips that beggars don't seem to like kay their palette is way too dull/sophisticated to discriminate its feel; Roj for not wearing the lamest shades and for the car which shall be used like how government uses people's money for the party next week; Portia for nothing; and The Manananggal for not showing up while naa mis eskina nila Joan.

5. Thank you, Tambayan movie house and Cebu Trivia Night for teaching me how to love Showing me what the world meansWhat I've been dreamin' ofAnd now I know, there is nothing that I could not doThanks to you...............no mountain, no valleyNo time, no space 

Thanks to you...Thanks to you...Thanks to you.

6. Thank you Acoustica 

for allowing me to invent the Sisig Pasta, 

which isn't in the menu and is from the Siomai 

Noodles and Sisig. 

Acoustica is a Bisaya Short Film food store 

and 

should 

be 

a 

must-to-die-for

for 

pretentious 

diners.

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The Born This Way Ball

Anyone who knows me knows I adore Lady Gaga. From her crazy fashion to her controversial songs, I love her whole over-the-top brand. I was fortunate enough to score tickets to her Born This Way Ball this past month before she had her little accident. I was nervous about her show because I had high expectations for it, and usually when I have high expectations for a show I am severely let down. Take the recent remake of Les Miserables, for example. I was so excited about it, and yet, I so disliked it. The acting was good and all, I just think the story was a little to much for me. Needless to say, I had my reservations about the Born This Way Ball. While her opening acts (Lady Starlight and Madeon) were really awful, in my opinion,  the rest of the show was mesmerizing. The concert was set in a castle where Lady G was trying to get in to. She was portraying Mother Monster from a different universe and set off the alarms to the castle while trying to break in to tell Earth that it is okay to be different. Gaga performed her classics: Bad Romance, Just Dance, Poker Face, LoveGame, Telephone, Judas, You and I, and, of course, Born This Way. Actually, she performed Born This Way twice. The first time was the way we all know it. The second time was a shortened, ballad version. My favorite performances of the night were Judas and Just Dance. She had just been captured by guards when she began talking about someone who had betrayed her. Everyone in the audience held their breath, waiting for her to introduce what we knew was coming. All of a sudden Gaga screams: "JUDAS!!!!". The crowd goes wild. The whole number was then about her getting out of this dungeon in the castle, which she succedeed at. Then, for Just Dance, the set was lit pink. Gaga became nostalgic, reminiscing about the first time she heard her first song on the radio just five years ago. The whole performance was a lot of fun. I already had this suspicion about Mother Monster before the show, but this concert just confirmed how amazing she is as a live performer. You could tell she genuinely was having the time of her life and that she was so humble and thankful for everything. She is also so much prettier in person. That's is something I would have never thought. No one ever says: "That Gaga, she was much prettier in person." Maybe its the rebellious nature of her songs and outfits or the fact that I really do think she is one of the most talented performers in the world, but I love her. Judge me.

Castle set used for the whole show.

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Stuff Game Shows Like Showtime And Wowowillie Are Too Weak To Say

1. Don't recite your poetry, no matter how sentimental they are. Yes, you've remembered that piece of poem, good job memory you attributed to God, but we've got to go because our profit is dependent on how entertaining you are and you are not fun to listen to if you're reciting that boring dialogue. Grind! We don't care about how that poem means so much to you, how that was written by your husband before he died in a bloody combat with your father, how that was a product of suffered love and life. We don't care. We need to go. So unless you make us feel awesome, just shut the eff up.

2. We will give you money but, uhm, can you, like, be on TV and share how you are a victim of rape and how you made it through thanks to GOD what are you doing! That's against religion!

3. We give you money, but we need to take advantage of your pain and past, and you should make us money, too. We say we care but only so much that it gives us the estimated ROI Statistics-1001- R.E > Tax E.D. Profit. We make money out of you, poor people.

4. We tell the Madlang People that they raise their hands and in Jesus' name, and shout "In Jesus Name, We'll Heal You, Sick Participant!". Yes, we do that. Jesus' healing powers is pretty much dependent on how many people raise their hands and pray for me. Jesus is that shallow.

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Wowoowilliee Whatever Works Because of White Chicks and Humor

1. Willie Revillame's humor is pinoy and deserves a bisection from sociology and psychology researchers. It is instinctual and still smart. Good job.

2. Call me sexist, but the lady dancers are sexy. When they grind, body blood levels of men rise. When they dance, you forget you're supposed to be smart and intellectual and a reader of deep intelligent postmodern books. You forget to pretend.

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The Bisaya Art You Need To Support: The February 2013 Joya Art Exhibit at SM City Cebu Art Gallery

Is this ART/TRASH? Or TRASH pretending to be ART? Or ART pretending to be TRASH? 
 Or TRASH pretending to be TRASH?

“I'm tired of my life, my clothes, the things I say. I'm hacking away at the surface, as at some kind of gray ice, trying to break through to what is underneath or I am dead. I can feel the surface trembling—it seems ready to give but it never does. I am uninterested in current events. How can I justify this? How can I explain it? I don't want to have the same vocabulary I've always had. I want something richer, broader, more penetrating and powerful.”
― James Salter, Memorable Days: The Selected Letters of James Salter and Robert Phelps

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The 7 Important Life-Changing Tips For A Perfect Pinoy Valentine's Date

 High five? Or if you move an inch-closer, the restraining order will take effect?

1. If he's a lawyer who has potential because he's a Business and Not An Environment or A Human Rights lawyer, marry him. You are 30 and a talentless self-centered pathologically lying libakera and without him, you will fail in your social climbing.

2. If the guy says you're funny and smart and he makes references to Woody Allen movies and books only you among your nonagon of friends would read, he's not sleeping with you. You'd be just his adult doll he will always use to make him even look smarter.

3. If he's awkward and makes no sense, even and especially with his jokes, and you're wearing anything with lace, stay at least a feet away from his pants. A thick fist-size part of his body's about to explode from sex juice and restrained rapist-genes.

4. If you're in Chicken BonChon and he orders Super Spicy Fish Taco and rice and Kimchi Coleslaw and service water, he might have good taste in comfort food but he's also probably an "ex-convict" because he once stole a Chicken BonChon Super Spicy Fish Taco Value Meal from a careless customer who just went to the C.R. (Comfort Room, not Crown Regency). He might also have seen Darren Aronofsky's Requiem For A Dream and wanted you to do The Dildo Scene.

5. If the guy wears a striped shirt with a Dragon drawing (Right, Port?) and then striped shorts and plaid hat and checkered shoes, expect to work when you both get married in a boutique named, "Buy Our Fasshion Because We Know Fasshion and You Don't and Of Course You Are Judged By The Number of "Original" Gucci Bags You Bought With Government Tax Money That You Are So Proud Of Because You Think You Are Smart Enough To Get Away With It! Buy! Believe in God Because God Loves You and If You Don't Believe The Loving God, The Loving God Will Burn You In Hell! Love Is When You Bring Your Loved Ones To Hell and Wish Them Suffering And Longer Life To Suffer Dress Store Boutique Shop". 

Also, expect not to have sex with the guy until he finds the next pair of striped panties and bra, which I'm sure is pretty raaaare in his case.

6. If he suggests you both eat The La La Lah Claypot, he doesn't like you and he wants to torture your tongue. Ditch him immediately. Then go to One Claypot and eat chicken wings to celebrate sincerely/sarcastically.

7. If he owns an iPad and an iPhone 5 and a Samsung Tab and hangs a DSLR over his head because he says he's a digital photographer, tell him while he's at it why doesn't he go to SM squatters area and get the malnourished children to eat his gadgets because isn't he a God-believer and isn't he for the poor? I'm sure gadgets can be eaten by the street children your God loves and the children you both proudly don't care about.

Happy Heart Surgery and Fake Love and Ball Sheet Unmeant Forwarded Messages To You All from 

THE BISAYA SHORT FILMS!

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