Emma Stone is an "Easy A"-lister

  • Subscribe to our RSS feed.
  • Twitter
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • Facebook
  • Digg

Friday, 28 December 2012

Bohol Travel: You Should NOT VISIT The Gabriella Bed and Breakfast if....

Posted on 07:16 by Unknown
......you ARE messy and you're NOT HAPPY staying in a beautiful place. In short, The Gabriella is for quiet and neat and decent people.



Two Things:

1. The Gabriella is the place to stay if you want to avoid insensitive and noisy tourist crowd. In fact, it is safe to say that The Gabriella Bed and Breakfast is the cleanest and unpretentiously classy place nga among na higdaan/nakit-an among the other three hotels we screened in Tagbilaran. Gabriella is better than Bohol Beach Club even, in terms of cleanliness, coziness and customer service. Bohol Beach Club’s ace is just its beach. Also, you can find cute fluffy white-haired bitches there barking at you, so Beach Club is fun, too.

BBC rooms cost from Php6000-Php8000, which I think should be now illegal considering the depravity and global calamities our world suffers. And they’ve got so much land that you can’t help but think, Why aren’t we letting the people who have no homes stay here and provide them jobs that benefit both the owners of BBC and their families? Although the Lechon Kawali and Chilli Chicken servings in BBC are the biggest I’ve had in a while. But that still doesn’t make the BBC owners’ lack of social creativity/responsibility tolerable.

2.  Gabriella is where Vice Ganda, Christine Reyes, Angelica Panganiban and Vhong Navarro apparently stayed, which doesn’t automatically say that these refer to the famous local celebs who own these names. Do a Facebook search and you get at least 20 matches to your own name. But what I want to say is: I urge anyone who consider themselves influential to find a way to help stranded travelers from Tagbilaran who can’t afford decent lodging and food when their catamarans aren’t allowed voyage to Cebu City because of typhoons like Quinta. 

I propose the Tagbilaran Pier authority, sponsored by concerned individuals, provide food stubs and tents to these travelers and let them sleep in the wide stretch parking lot in the pier that seemed unoccupied and unused. So much cemented land, and yet of no use. It’s likely that this is like the case of the famous Mandaue lampposts. Let’s make use of this, people who think we still have a chance to be better. Anyone named Vice Ganda, Christine Reyes and Vhong Navarro here who can help them/us?




from The Gabriella Website. More of my personal photos later.

Read More
Posted in bisaya short films, Solutions, stranded filipino travelers, stranded travelers in tagbilaran, travel, Typhoon quinta | No comments

032 (ZeroThreeTwo) Things You Can Do With A Krispy Kreme Cap

Posted on 06:15 by Unknown


This is a rejected ZeroThreeTwo Article. Here's Carlo of ZeroThreeTwo's rejection message:  

Hi Richard!
Haha Thanks for the entertaining write up. Unfortunately, we won't be able to use this because it has to be a "Cebu-centric" article. Maybe you have other topics in mind that touches on Cebu?




  1. Photoframe - Why buy one when you can make it for free? But there’s no such thing as free lunch so it is politically not. 
  2. Cap - Obviously.
  3. Pen holder - Pencil case is expensive and made of plastic, so bad for the environment. Make your own please because aren't you awesome?
  4. Pencil case - see photo
  5. Cellphone case - you wanna hide your phone while in the beach? Put it in the cap and leave it on the sand. Safe.
  6. Notebook - write on the blank areas of the cap and make a unique love letter you send to your ex!
  7. Cut out the letters and use them in greeting cards - You have letters from KRISPY KREME, so you only need letters I,L, O, V, E, Y, O, U, A, N, N, and A.
  8. Bookmarks - see photo
  9. Remote Control Holder - put it inside the cap and hide it from your kids who always hide the remote from you because they’re cute mean kids from Michael Haneke’s The White Ribbon film.
  10. Bills holder - make your depressing bills fun to read by hiding them in this cap.
  11. Cellphone case - need to hide your phone from your boyfriend? Hide it here.
  12. Money hideout - see photo
  13. Paper airplanes - yup, don’t waste new paper by making paper airplanes you throw away. Use the cap paper instead and for sure you won’t throw them away because it’s cute.
  14. Fan  - Going to church? Don’t sweat. Fold the hat fifteen times and fan yourself free.
  15. Organizer for important letters - put all your important data here and hide them from purloining adults. New word: purloin. Look it up so you get smarter. Cebuanos should be smarter.
  16. Secret Love Letter Envelope - worried that the father of the girl you’re courting would ruin your wedding proposal? Hide your letter inside the cap and give it to your girl.
  17. More stuff you can do. Contact us so we can teach you how to do these: Table balancer
  18. Id holder
  19. Dangling earrings holder
  20. Proposal Message Holder
  21. Pick-up Line Holder
  22. A Greeting Card
  23. Resignation Letter from Krispy Kreme
  24. A Clip Art for Your Krispy Kreme Application Letter
  25. Serving Tray for Your Donuts
  26. Envelope
  27. English Grammar Guide
  28. Rice cooker holder
  29. Paint brush holder
  30. Dustpan
  31. Cellphone accessory
  32. Awesome Speakers amplifier 


Written and Plagiarized from the thoughts of 
Richard  J. Tandoc A., 
a person who does graphics, 
writes fiction and makes "Bisaya Short Films" 
(please don't google it). 
His recent achievement: 
seen
all 
Woody 
Allen's 
47 
feature 
 films 
to date. 

Read More
Posted in Food, Krispy Kreme Philippines, Solutions | No comments

Saturday, 22 December 2012

5 Things About Everything That A Bisaya Learned From Stealing Tim Kreider's We Learn Nothing

Posted on 16:58 by Unknown


This drawing is from Tim Kreider. I don't think I have permission to upload this. But I'm allowed to post his book cover in Amazon. Where can I read the answer to convince me that I should take this down?


1. We learn nothing.

2. We learn everything, but only a part of it. Okay that doesn't sound right. I don't think I agree with Kreider's thoughts on how we should just sever ties with people who are mentally sick or who drag us down and abuse our kindness to smut. But I don't think I have a good reason for my disagreement, other than denial.

3. We are like cats; we shun people who show their affection, we crawl towards them when it is deprived of us. Kreider had a line about our appreciation of life only when we're in the middle of a jungle and we're holding honey and a horde (or school? Bears like fish. Ergo, they ARE fish.) of bears lunge towards us.This is true, but I love bears, and if there's death, then I should just share it with them. I'm kidding, but not that part.

4. We Cebuanos should read his book because it mentions David Foster Wallace and James Salter, the two writers you should know more about because you're probably religious and you're probably so smart, you think Ferdinand Marcos is cool and that we should always ignore the street kids and we should always bullshit our friends with our brilliant lies.

5. We should believe in peak oil. That's right, bay. Mahurot ang oil gipanggamit for your Hummer and more genius cars. Tough shit, right? Now deal with it. If you're the genius kind, buy more iPhones and iPads and forget about other poor people's plight and enjoy life now, and who cares about the immorality of buying iPads professionally made by 8-year old kids when you know God is with you? God is with me God is with me God is with me. Me. Me. Me.




Read More
Posted in bisaya short films, Books, David Foster Wallace, James Salter, Tim Kreider's We Learn Nothing | No comments

Thursday, 13 December 2012

What Cebu City Can Learn From Barack Obama’s Recent Win: A Message From A Philippine Politician

Posted on 09:03 by Unknown
by Senator T2 Saw2

So now that Barack Obama is re-elected, I, Senator Teetoa Sewtwo, your devoted God’s-gift-to-the-city public service person, (not servant, because I’m rich so being a servant is ewww to me) I, the Saviour of The City, should remind you of the things our city of Cebu should continue doing in order to be like the United States we all love. As in, love, like how Imelda Marcos loves her shoes.

1. Enjoy Yourself and Buy More Gadgets You Don’t Need and Want
Why would you buy an iPod touch that already has all the features you need when an iPhone is a better symbol of your being a social climber? Who cares if your mother didn’t eat three meals a day abroad just to buy and save you that stupid gadget in time for your 3rd 2-month long birthday party, right? Yes, having a smartphone makes you smarter, but don’t worry. You don’t have to be smart to own a smartphone.

2. Forget the children in the streets.
Remember the 7-year-old children you passed by sa CCMC, nga nanigarilyo? He's/She's/It's not you, so why would you care? Don’t worry about him/her/it, though. They're not your problem, right? They better die, right? They're trash, right? They're better off dead, right? You shouldn't help them kay manganad lang nya no, right? As in, di na niya sila mu-work kay magsalig niya nimo, right?And ayawg tuo when your stupid dumb idiotic and super bogo bogo way kwenta boang friend tell you nga, "Sure jud ka nga magsalig sila nimo? Sure ka nga nag tinapulan rana sila maong naghigda nana sila sa dan? What is your mathematical differential-calculus-derived proof? Do you have the receipts!? Show me the receipts! Sure ka dili na tungod sa pagka hangol sa mga politiko? Sure ka dili na tungod....nimo nimo nimo nimo. Nimo. Nimo....? ?

? ? ? ? ?
  
Besides, where would we the God-given politicians get the taxes from charities if we no longer have the street children to “charitize” from? How would our wives look generous and egalitarian to all their society friends and amigas and Gods if they have no destitute children to derive their generousness appearance from?

3. Do not read books for leisure. All you need to learn since kindergarten is in the Bible.
Really, don’t. Not even Fifty Shades of Grey, much less the books the characters in the Fifty Shades of Grey read. What do you need books for when books are making you smart? Why read those when the Bible is more than enough to make you stupid? Smartness is for losers and for people to get better jobs and better skills and awesome opportunities. It's better to be stupid but God-fearing and religious and unemployed and ultra-illiterate.

4. Tell people they’re stupid and chaka.
Always do this because it hides your insecurity briliiantly, like how a gay man hides from her self. Dismiss everyone you dislike as chaka/batig nawng/murag maid/bayot/maya/faggot because this is the right thing to do in your opinion and this is democratic and nothing’s stopping you from doing cute stuff that elevates your almost insatiable ego. You're free to be stupid and mean, so why would you change? If you’re a teacher, tell your students they’re probably not going to succeed. Saying this challenges them to try harder and makes them better people who later on will tell and inspire children to work harder and succeed. If these children get to be politicians like me, then let’s thank the teachers for inspiring them.

5. You only live once, so have fun with your short finite life.
Drive your motorbike drunk and while texting with no helmet and, heck, no pants on, just for the thrill. Ride your motorbike while doing jumping jacks. Turn your radio on full-volume and annoy your neighbors. Be in the middle of two "friendships". If you have earphones, listen to music until you hear nothing. Hear nothing good from your friends by always being negative about their good intentions. There are no good intentions. People are after you. Cheat or be cheated. There is no good, so just be ahead.
Read More
Posted in Barack Obama, Philippine Government, social issues in the philippines | No comments
Newer Posts Older Posts Home
Subscribe to: Comments (Atom)

Popular Posts

  • (Updated) Richard Gomez and Dawn Zulueta's Love Team
  • The Rain Outside
  • Let the Good Times Roll, Part 2
  • 6 Thank Yous For The Bitches Who Should Rule Cebu City and Bark More
  • The Bird of Noynoy
  • Jollibee Don't Kill Us
  • What Cebu City Can Learn From Barack Obama’s Recent Win: A Message From A Philippine Politician
  • Love Cebu
  • Ely Buendia and Francis Magalona's In Love And War and Pokemon and Bears
  • The Neuschwanstein Castle in Germany

Categories

  • #CharDawnOnGGV Dawn Zulueta GGV Richard Gomez Dawn Zulueta Girls (1)
  • 2010 philippine elections (1)
  • 30 Rock ends (1)
  • A Good Year (1)
  • Acoustica Food Resto (1)
  • balak (1)
  • Barack Obama (1)
  • Bb. Pilipinas International 2009 Melody Gersbach Car Crash (1)
  • Bea Alonzo (1)
  • Bisaya Art (1)
  • bisaya films (1)
  • bisaya life (10)
  • bisaya poetry (1)
  • bisaya short films (10)
  • Bisaya Short Films Valentine's (1)
  • bisaya writing (1)
  • Books (5)
  • carey mulligan (1)
  • cebu elections (1)
  • Cebu Restaurants (1)
  • cebu shopping (1)
  • Cebu Trivia Night (1)
  • Corinne McCormack (1)
  • David Foster Wallace (1)
  • deaths (1)
  • drug addiction in cebu (1)
  • easy a (2)
  • ely buendia and francis magalona's in love and war (1)
  • ely buendia francis magalona's in love and war (1)
  • ely buendia in cebu (1)
  • emma stone (1)
  • Enchong Dee (1)
  • erap (1)
  • fashion (1)
  • Food (5)
  • gibo (1)
  • Girls (7)
  • hostage Takers (1)
  • Ian Rankin (1)
  • illiterate street children (1)
  • Inception (1)
  • island souvenirs loves cebu (1)
  • James Salter (1)
  • Jitrois (1)
  • Jollibee Ultimate Burger Steak (1)
  • Joya Art Exhibit 2013 (1)
  • Julia Montes (1)
  • juvenile delingquents in cebu (1)
  • Kafka On The Shore (1)
  • kaleidoscope world (1)
  • Krispy Kreme Philippines (1)
  • luningning (1)
  • mang inasal (1)
  • Marian Rivera (1)
  • Marion Cotillard (1)
  • Michael Chabon (1)
  • Michael Haneke's White Ribbon (1)
  • MMFF 2010 (1)
  • MMFF 2012 (1)
  • Movies (8)
  • Music (4)
  • noynoy aquino (1)
  • NU107 (1)
  • NYR Blog (1)
  • NYRB (1)
  • Old Spaghetti House (1)
  • One Claypot Cebu City (1)
  • opm rock (1)
  • People I Don't Know (9)
  • Persian Palate (1)
  • Philippine beach (1)
  • philippine environment (1)
  • Philippine Government (1)
  • philippine tourist spots (1)
  • philippine travel (1)
  • philippines (1)
  • phillipines (1)
  • pinoy rock gods (1)
  • plastics (1)
  • PNP (1)
  • polyvore (1)
  • postmodernism (1)
  • Pyroworks (1)
  • Quirino Grandstand (1)
  • reasons why Mang Inasal will succeed (1)
  • Relationship (3)
  • Rolando Mendoza (1)
  • sayo lamang review (1)
  • Showtime (1)
  • Sinulog 2013 Fireworks Display in SM CITY CEBU (1)
  • SM City Cebu Art Gallery (1)
  • social issues in the philippines (1)
  • Solutions (14)
  • stranded filipino travelers (1)
  • stranded travelers in tagbilaran (1)
  • style (1)
  • Super Inday and The Golden Bibe (1)
  • Technology (1)
  • The Old Spaghetti House valentine's promo (1)
  • THE SINULOG FIREWORKS DISPLAY 2013 BY PYROWORKS YESTERDAY AT SM CITY CEBU (1)
  • The Strangers (1)
  • Tim Kreider's We Learn Nothing (1)
  • Tips on Dating (1)
  • Top Ten (2)
  • TOSH (1)
  • TOSHMANIA (1)
  • travel (1)
  • Typhoon quinta (1)
  • Un Prophete (1)
  • Valentine's Day in The Philippines (1)
  • wall street:money never sleeps (1)
  • wasak waltz (1)
  • Wes Anderson (1)
  • Wes Anderson's Worlds (1)
  • willie revillame (1)
  • Worst Cebu Restaurants (1)
  • wowowillie (2)

Blog Archive

  • ►  2013 (18)
    • ►  March (5)
    • ►  February (9)
    • ►  January (4)
  • ▼  2012 (16)
    • ▼  December (4)
      • Bohol Travel: You Should NOT VISIT The Gabriella B...
      • 032 (ZeroThreeTwo) Things You Can Do With A Krispy...
      • 5 Things About Everything That A Bisaya Learned Fr...
      • What Cebu City Can Learn From Barack Obama’s Recen...
    • ►  July (3)
    • ►  June (6)
    • ►  April (2)
    • ►  January (1)
  • ►  2011 (16)
    • ►  December (3)
    • ►  November (1)
    • ►  October (4)
    • ►  August (2)
    • ►  July (3)
    • ►  March (1)
    • ►  February (1)
    • ►  January (1)
  • ►  2010 (25)
    • ►  December (6)
    • ►  November (4)
    • ►  September (3)
    • ►  August (4)
    • ►  July (1)
    • ►  June (5)
    • ►  May (1)
    • ►  March (1)
  • ►  2009 (3)
    • ►  July (1)
    • ►  May (1)
    • ►  April (1)
  • ►  2008 (5)
    • ►  December (1)
    • ►  October (1)
    • ►  July (2)
    • ►  April (1)
  • ►  2007 (2)
    • ►  March (1)
    • ►  February (1)
  • ►  2006 (1)
    • ►  October (1)
Powered by Blogger.

About Me

Unknown
View my complete profile