032 (ZeroThreeTwo) Things You Can Do With A Krispy Kreme Cap

This is a rejected ZeroThreeTwo Article. Here's Carlo of ZeroThreeTwo's rejection message:  

Hi Richard!

Haha Thanks for the entertaining write up. Unfortunately, we won't be able to use this because it has to be a "Cebu-centric" article. Maybe you have other topics in mind that touches on Cebu?

1. Photoframe - Why buy one when you can make it for free? But there’s no such thing as free lunch so it is politically not. 
2. Cap - Obviously.
3. Pen holder - Pencil case is expensive and made of plastic, so bad for the environment. Make your own please because aren't you awesome?
4. Pencil case - see photo
5. Cellphone case - you wanna hide your phone while in the beach? Put it in the cap and leave it on the sand. Safe.
6. Notebook - write on the blank areas of the cap and make a unique love letter you send to your ex!
7. Cut out the letters and use them in greeting cards - You have letters from KRISPY KREME, so you only need letters I,L, O, V, E, Y, O, U, A, N, N, and A.
8. Bookmarks - see photo
9. Remote Control Holder - put it inside the cap and hide it from your kids who always hide the remote from you because they’re cute mean kids from Michael Haneke’s The White Ribbon film.
10. Bills holder - make your depressing bills fun to read by hiding them in this cap.
11. Cellphone case - need to hide your phone from your boyfriend? Hide it here.
12. Money hideout - see photo
13. Paper airplanes - yup, don’t waste new paper by making paper airplanes you throw away. Use the cap paper instead and for sure you won’t throw them away because it’s cute.
14. Fan  - Going to church? Don’t sweat. Fold the hat fifteen times and fan yourself free.
15. Organizer for important letters - put all your important data here and hide them from purloining adults. New word: purloin. Look it up so you get smarter. Cebuanos should be smarter.
16. Secret Love Letter Envelope - worried that the father of the girl you’re courting would ruin your wedding proposal? Hide your letter inside the cap and give it to your girl.
17. More stuff you can do. Contact us so we can teach you how to do these: Table balancer
18. Id holder
19. Dangling earrings holder
20. Proposal Message Holder
21. Pick-up Line Holder
22. A Greeting Card
23. Resignation Letter from Krispy Kreme
24. A Clip Art for Your Krispy Kreme Application Letter
25. Serving Tray for Your Donuts
26. Envelope
27. English Grammar Guide
28. Rice cooker holder
29. Paint brush holder
30. Dustpan
31. Cellphone accessory
32. Awesome Speakers amplifier 

Written and Plagiarized from the thoughts of 
Richard  J. Tandoc A., 
a person who does graphics, 
writes fiction and makes "Bisaya Short Films" 
(please don't google it). 
His recent achievement: 
seen
all 
Woody 
Allen's 
47 
feature 
 films 
to date.